Category: 1

When I received the message that I had been hoping for, it was very late at night. In the message he confirmed that I had found the right person and asked me to call him. Because it was too late to call, I had to wait until the next morning to speak to him. I woke early, wrote down all of my questions and prayed that it would go well. I called and it went to voicemail. 10 long minutes went by before my phone rang. I said " Thank you so much for calling me back". He said, " I had to call you back, Jennifer; you look just like your mother". Tears.
The initial exchange was crazy-insane for me because we immediately verified that I am who I say I am and that I had, in fact, found the link to my Birthmother. I was so thrilled because I, as I'm sure many adoptees feel, was looking forward to telling my Birthmother THANK YOU! I have had a magnificent life and your choices made that possible! You are an angel to me. Your selfless act benefitted me tremendously and I am exactly where I should be. Thank you for giving me life.
That conversation will never take place.
I was given the tragic news that my birthmother passed away many years ago from cancer. She fought for nearly 20 years and still lived a happy life with her husband and daughter. That was the bright spot in this story....I have a sister.
I asked my BM's 1st Husband if my sister knew about me....." she does now. I called her before I called you" I asked if she wanted to speak to me. He stated that she was in shock, but give her some time. I understood. I have known about me my whole life....she just found out. I didn't expect to hear from her for days, possible weeks.
My phone rang 6 hours later.

The Story Continues.. 03/04/2012

Picking up the story from where I left off… I have, in my
possession, my Original Birth Certificate, which bears the name of my
birth-mother. My birth-father’s name is omitted. I’m fine with it. I know that
you must be asking yourself “now what”? I received my OBC the end of December;
just 6 short weeks from when I sent in my request. I spent the entire New Year’s
2011 Weekend searching exhaustively for pieces of information on my birthmother.
Since she was born in 1945, I suspected that she might fall into the category
of people who are not on the internet much, and that my search may prove
difficult. I was right. There was but one piece of information on her and, as
it turned out, it was all I needed to complete my search.

With the help of a friend, I found the man who married my
Birthmother shortly after I was born (he is NOT my birthfather). I then began to
search Facebook for him. That was easy. Now, all I needed to do was confirm that
I had the right person. Through my continued searching, I discovered that my
Birthmother and this man had a child. They had a girl; which means that I have
a biological sister. I sent them both private messages and then waited to hear.
That was challenging. Three weeks went by before I received the message I was
hoping for. It was an incredible and long-awaited conversation.

More in a bit…

Haven't blogged in a while..... 02/29/2012

There has been so much going on lately, I simply have not had the time to blog. I have missed it. In the coming week I will be blogging about a major event in my life...there are a few, but only one that I can talk about for now. I can give you only an idea of what it will be about. Last year, Our Illinois State Governor, Pat Quinn, signed a Public Act (96-0895) http://www.idph.state.il.us/vitalrecords/vital/non_certified.htm which allows certain previously sealed documents to be unsealed. Among these documents are Adoption Records/Original Birth Certificates. Adoptees have 2 birth certificates, their original which bears the name of one or both of their birth parents, and the altered document, bearing the names of the adopted parents. If you were born after 1947, then you could petition for your OBC after November 15th 2011. I did so, and I now have in my posession my OBC which bears the name of my Birth Mother, but not my Birth Father.
Stay tuned for how this story turns out.....

The Windy City Live experience 01/21/2012

On Thursday, January 19th, my pal Carol and I attended a taping of the local television show, Windy City Live and had a wonderful experience! From start to finish, the staff at ABC7 Chicago was extremely professional, courteous and so warm and friendly!! If I were to equate it to 'customer service', the WCL cast and crew would win very high marks.

I have heard Val Taylor and Ryan Chiaverini make the comment on air that they are a family. I can confirm that notion and also add that they extended that same expression of family towards the audience. All of the camera crew, directors, stage managers, producers and cast were approachable and welcoming. Yes, I was singled out because of the Roe Conn's HAIR Fan Page on Faceboook, but I also observed equal attention and respect to everyone in attendance. We ALL had a wonderful time, laughed much and felt a sense of togetherness.....the WCL staff created a sense of community that is so rare in our current climate. Bravo! And THANK YOU WCL for a wonderful afternoon, and for the shout out to my admiration for Roe's hair.....perfection, on both parts ;) Oh, and about Roe's hair..... check out this snap!! What a good sport!

Anything extraordinary 01/09/2012

In July of 2010 (18 months ago) I was in the 4th of 12 months of chemo, Ron had just deployed and I was competing for the title of Mrs. International. I had no expectations for myself that July...I simply wanted to feel well enough to make it through Nationals. I didn't need to win, I needed to not be nauseous or tired or worried about Ron. I didn't need anything extraordinary to happen. But it did. Two things, actually. The first thing, happened to me, just after the Finals Competiton. I walked out from backstage and looked for my posse, and saw them all chatting with others. All of a sudden a really mean girl approached me and said to me, " You must be really disappointed". My response was, " No, not at all". The mean girl persisted, " I mean you worked so hard and you didn't even make the Top 10". The ugly side of Pageantry. That was presumptuous of her that I wanted to win, that I worked hard or that I was disappointed in the outcome. I did my best to make it through and I accomplished just that...in a way I was victorious beyond the obvious goal. Enough about me.
The second thing I wish to tell you about is as follows. Since Ron was deployed, I needed someone to escort me onstage during Evening Gown Competition. I asked my cousin Chris and he happily agreed. Ron and I are close to Chris and Marla and they have always been so supportive of us. During the Top 10 on-stage interview, Chris heard the platform of Shannon Devine- International Adoption. They started their journey in 2009 to adopt a child from Vietnam. You cannot imagine the red tape and resistance that my cousin and his wife encountered. Endless at times....got to the point where many of my family members simply stopped asking when Gabriel was coming home.I'll not recap the political portion of this story, but I always believed that so much more could have been done. Never was acceptable to me and certainly not acceptable to Chris and Marla. Nonetheless, as Chris sat in the audience and heard Shannon speak so eliquently of her own journey with International Adoption....well, a lightbulb went off and Chris called me the next week asking me if I thougth she could help. Shannon won the crown and after i called her and shared my cousins plight, long story short, she WAS able to assist Chris and Marla in their goal of bringing Gabriel home.
The day after Thanksgiving 2011, Chris packed his bags and flew 1/2 way around the world to the Bac Lieu region of Vietnam. He had one goal; He was not leaving VietNam without his son! Something extraordinary did happen and on Christmas morning we recieved word that Gabriel was theirs. He is now home with his family.....little brother Conner is learning the share, and I got my wish too.

Happy Birthday Meg!!! 12/17/2011

On December 18, 1993 The most beautiful baby girl, Margaret Grace Sanders, came into this world and changed my life forever. She would become my Goddaughter. She would become MY SUNSHINE. She would become a pillar of strength. She would become a cancer survivor. She would become my student as I mentored her and She would become my teacher. She would become my flower girl, a friend with many friends, a dancer, a singer and a young woman.
She would become MY HEART.

Being Meg’s Godmother is a joy and I am so grateful to Scott and Carrie for asking me to take on this role in her life. We were inseparable while she was growing up, and many times we shared the same thoughts and sense of humor. When She was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma at the age of 33 months, I knew that my experiences with doctors and hospitals would be helpful to her and the family. I knew that I could show Meg how to be brave and still be a kid while she was sick. She, in turn, ended up teaching me more. Her bravery and resilience became a model for me to aspire to. She would say to me, “ Chin up, big girl” and wipe away my tears.

I am so proud of the young woman that Meg has become; being accepted into Ohio University, wanting to become a child-life specialist to be a light in the lives of children battling life-threatening illnesses, and having a wonderful circle of friends around her who admire her sparkle and kind heart.

Happy Birthday my Sunshine, my Nutmeg, My Bunny Bun-Bun, my little Meg-A Moo, Mooskie, and my HEART. Thank you for 18 years of joy beyond imagination. I love you forever J

Faking Cancer? Really?? 12/12/2011

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The Hanover County Sheriff’s Office received an anonymous complaint in April 2011 indicating that Martha A. Nicholas was falsely claiming to have cancer and as a result received financial support to address medical expenses and other financial hardships related to her illness.
After unsuccessful attempts to speak with Martha Nicholas regarding this complaint, Sheriff’s Office Investigators began to evaluate the public announcements regarding her illness and seek the appropriate medical records to determine the validity of the complaint. Our investigation revealed no evidence of any cancer treatment at any medical facility that had been publicly identified by Martha Nicholas during her many public appearances and testimonials. Investigators also found evidence of individuals that had given money to Martha Nicholas due to her proclaimed medical condition.
The findings of the investigation were reviewed by the Hanover Commonwealth’s Attorney, Trip Chalkley, and a determination was made to charge Martha Nicholas with two counts of misdemeanor obtain money by false pretenses. Those charges were obtained and Martha Nicholas was arrested on 12/7/2011. Nicholas will be arraigned on these charges in Hanover General District Court on 12/16/2011.

While sufficient information has been obtained to support these charges, Investigators believe there may be those with information that would be of value to this investigation. Anyone with information on these cases is asked to contact the Sheriff’s Office at (804) 365-6140.

Source:Hanover County Sherrif's Office, Official News Release December 8, 2011.

Does this woman have Munchausen's Syndrome? Does she have a different form of mental illness? Is she greedy? Do we assist her using taxpayers money? Will that transpire if she is incarcerated? As a 2 time cancer survivor (cervical and skin) I am offended, to say the least, that this woman, let alone ANYONE, would create a lie to this magnitude for the sake of making money. Perhaps one of her jobs in prison could be creative fundraising. How can someone say to themselves.....hey I want/need some money. How's about I pretend to be a cancer survivor, pretend to currently have cancer and play on the sympathies of my community for financial gain.
Here is my message to Mrs. Nicholas:
Thank you for reminding me that most people are good and kind. You are not. Thank you for reminding me that the people in my life are fundamentally well-intending and live legitimate lives. You do not. Thank you for showing us that while so many in this country suffer from legitimate forms of cancer, YOU have 'cornered the market' on how to gain sympathy within your community, pull the wool over your own family's eyes, and make money with a FAKE form of cancer. Why didn't I think of that?????? Why? Because I have a conscience, a soul, and would never betray the trust of anyone knowingly or willingly. What have you lost? Friends, Family, the chance to form life-long friendships based on trust. You've lost me....though we will most probably never meet. You will be judged by a court of law. You will be ordered to reimburse the funds that you extorted. You will spend time in prison in an attempt to equalize the wrongs you have done.

You do not know the sensation of toxic chemicals coursing through your veins. You do not know the inconvenience nausea and fatigue has on your day to day exsistence. You do not know what it is like to have your personality and spirit altered from copious amounts of medications and doctors visits and hospitalizations. You do not know the effect that hair loss has on your self esteem. You do not know the comfort and joy of having family legitmately rally on your behalf, and be by your side during the tough times. You do not share with me the magnificence of hearing simple terms like clean borders, stable lab results, clear scan, last round of chemotherapy, 5 years cancer-free.
Thankfully you do not know these things.....cancer is not for the faint-of-heart, or the heartless. It's for a very select few. I don't think I want you in our club.

You are not a warrior.; how dare you claim to be. You are not one of us. You are nothing like me...20 years and 8 years cancer-free; like my Goddaughter Meg ....14 years cancer-free; like family friend, Winnie...2 years cancer-free; or her brother, Jeff...1 year cancer-free. You are nothing like Lily, who survived pediatric cancer, or her mom, Judy who is currently fighting for her life. You are nothing like my father-in-law, Charles, who was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, survived, only to see his wife of 42 years, my mother-in law, Arlene, die a painful death after receiving only 1 dose of chemo. He is currently being treated for a recurrence. You are nothing like my uncle, my aunt, my grandfather, my many friends that have fought valiantly and passed from their cancer.

Faking cancer, Mrs. Nicholas, will be the greatest lesson of your life and is my prayer for you. You owe us an apology, and you owe it to yourself to get it right……… from this day on.

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Be True To Your School...for 50 Years! 11/27/2011

An impressive effort by the current students of Glenbrook South High School, my alma mater, in Glenview, Illinois! Enjoy the music montage of the last 50 years....fantastic and very well done :) So proud to be from Glenview and part of the history of GBS :)
http://vimeo.com/31628922

Thanksgiving, Happy 11/24/2011

The Pilgrims left Plymouth, England, on September 6, 1620. Their destination? The New World. Although filled with uncertainty and peril, it offered both civil and religious liberty. For over two months, the 102 passengers braved the harsh elements of a vast storm-tossed sea. Finally, with firm purpose and a reliance on Divine Providence, the cry of “Land!” was heard
Arriving in Massachusetts in late November, the Pilgrims sought a suitable landing place. On December 11, just before disembarking at Plymouth Rock, they signed the “Mayflower Compact”--America’s first document of civil government and the first to introduce self-government.
After a prayer service, the Pilgrims began building hasty shelters. However, unprepared for the starvation and sickness of a harsh New England winter, nearly half died before spring. Yet, persevering in prayer, and assisted by helpful Indians, they reaped a bountiful harvest the following summer.
The grateful Pilgrims then declared a three-day feast, starting on December 13, 1621, to thank God and to celebrate with their Indian friends. While this was not the first Thanksgiving in America (thanksgiving services were held in Virginia as early as 1607), it was America’s first Thanksgiving Festival.
Pilgrim Edward Winslow described the Pilgrims’ Thanksgiving in these words:

“Our harvest being gotten in, our Governor sent four men on fowling [bird hunting] so that we might, after a special manner, rejoice together after we had gathered the fruit of our labors. They four in one day killed as much fowl as… served the company almost a week… Many of the Indians [came] amongst us and… their greatest King, Massasoit, with some ninety men, whom for three days we entertained and feasted; and they went out and killed five deer, which they brought… And although it be not always so plentiful as it was at this time with us, yet BY THE GOODNESS OF GOD WE ARE… FAR FROM WANT.”

In 1789, following a proclamation issued by President George Washington, America celebrated its first Day of Thanksgiving to God under its new constitution. That same year, the Protestant Episcopal Church, of which President Washington was a member, announced that the first Thursday in November would become its regular day for giving thanks, “unless another day be appointed by the civil authorities.” Yet, despite these early national proclamations, official Thanksgiving observances usually occurred only at the State level.

Much of the credit for the adoption of a later ANNUAL national Thanksgiving Day may be attributed to Mrs. Sarah Joseph Hale, the editor of Godey’s Lady’s Book. For thirty years, she promoted the idea of a national Thanksgiving Day, contacting President after President until President Abraham Lincoln responded in 1863 by setting aside the last Thursday of November as a national Day of Thanksgiving. Over the next seventy-five years, Presidents followed Lincoln’s precedent, annually declaring a national Thanksgiving Day. Then, in 1941, Congress permanently established the fourth Thursday of each November as a national holiday.